I’m sitting here, finally sitting. Today has been a whirlwind of appointments, one missed because of traffic and one I showed up for and they didn’t even have a doc available. The others I made and then ran around doing all.the.things, errands etc. now I await the plumber.

I love the holidays, but they are hectic. We went out of town for thanksgiving to finally have a family holiday and now I’m trying to catch up.

We got our trees put up last night. The alive version finally got lights three days in, and the fake one finally got put up. But since it’s a new house to us, that whole “where does this go” thing is still a deal. So. This is where it went.

Yep. It’s a beaut! But also, there’s my yarn cabinet. BEHIND THE TREE.

This is sacrilege! I feel stuck, both figuratively and physically. Because everything has been so hectic, I haven’t gotten too far in to my fiber Journey and I’m kicking myself. But you know what? My self is NOT HAVING IT. Because my self learned a lot about grace this last year, after the whole quitting-epidemiology-during-Covid-because-of-politics thing. Lord knows that publicity brought me to a new appreciation for how much people suck, and how much I need self -care.

So my self -let’s call her Betty the Insouciant Trash Cussing Hellion: B.I.T.C.H just doesn’t do guilt. And she does everything in annoying caps so you can hear her, because she has to drown out all the other bullshit thoughts floating around. “FUCK ALLLLL DAT, YOU TOOK CARE OF EVERYONE ELSE AND NOW YOU DON’T GET TO FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT ACCOMPLISHING YOUR SHIT, TOO. (And now that it’s quiet again)…Damnit woman, have some chutzpah!”

Betty is right, as usual. And aside from the fact that I have now named my own self and that is it’s own special something, I’d say I’m pretty healthy mentally overall these days. So I’m gonna listen to Betty, and I’m gonna extend some grace to me. And say this instead: you know what? Tomorrow is another awesome opportunity, and I’m taking it!

I’m gonna spend 15 minutes tomorrow learning to spin. And then, I’m gonna take 15 minutes tomorrow and work on learning my sewing machine. And every day, I’m gonna aim for 15 minutes of each. And I’m gonna give myself a damn break if I don’t make it.

So right now, I’m gonna sit. And maybe knit. Or maybe not.

Because Lester is here being all cuddly and I don’t want to move.

But my bag is right there. On the table. Just in case I have 15 minutes soon.

Be kind to yourselves, we all need some grace right now.

Happy fibering,

love,

Eileen

Hey ya’ll. Today Is THE FIRST DAY of blogging about this rad new journey I’m on. It’s kind of amazing, actually, waking up every day excited and inspired to learn new things, to connect and meet people who are doing cool and interesting creative things!

I cannot be the only one who ditched their career and decided life is too short, can I? Our job numbers in the US are pretty much are screaming “HELL YEAH, everyone else figured this out too!”. Because man, so many people worked in miserable jobs and they are just done. KUDOS, people! You’re right, you deserve a living wage and a healthy workplace with flexibility and benefits. Go get you some.

I also decided I deserve more. Because living as an epidemiologist and a nurse was just…well..fucking depressing, honestly. I quit local public health over the politics of the pandemic and I kept a blog called Public Health is Your Job, Too. I built an online community there, advocated for transparency in public health, for education and science, and for real solid communication with the public. I burned out. Probably a good thing because I don’t know if I ever would have had the identity crisis I did otherwise, to get me to this awesome new spot in life.

But, once I decided I had the choice to move on, I started opening my eyes and ears to everything around me. And I kept a gratitude journal. THIS IS LIFE CHANGING. Today, I am on Day 93. I keep it on my personal facebook account, but maybe it will show up here now and again. But just by doing this, I started to find my way out of the depression and anxiety and existential crisis this pandemic left me with. I realized what amazing things surround me, how much I have to be grateful for every day, how much my family rocks, and how much I LOVE FIBER. This really helped me see I had to let go and move on. So I did. I let go of that previous life, shuttered the blog and the public health page on Facebook. And stopped identifying and defining that way.

So, now I have a second chance. I’m so here for it. And NOW I’m all in on living a new one, where I can find joy and gratitude in the every day, where I can build a community of creators and fiber lovers right here online and in my local Indianapolis area. Because local matters. Local fiber, local community, local business, local SPACE. I believe this down to the very fiber of my sometimes dark and twisty (but always honest and open) self.

In this vein, I started an endeavor called Midtown Fiber. You can find me on Instagram, and on Facebook, and I also have a Facebook group to connect with others.

So, this is my journey. I hope you follow along. Maybe you’ll learn something, maybe you’ll be inspired, maybe you’ll connect with others (or me! Feel free to comment or shoot an email to info@weavingintheends.com), or maybe this is just a space for you to explore.

Thanks for following and being part of this community!

Happy fibering,

Eileen