I’m sitting here, finally sitting. Today has been a whirlwind of appointments, one missed because of traffic and one I showed up for and they didn’t even have a doc available. The others I made and then ran around doing all.the.things, errands etc. now I await the plumber.
I love the holidays, but they are hectic. We went out of town for thanksgiving to finally have a family holiday and now I’m trying to catch up.
We got our trees put up last night. The alive version finally got lights three days in, and the fake one finally got put up. But since it’s a new house to us, that whole “where does this go” thing is still a deal. So. This is where it went.
Yep. It’s a beaut! But also, there’s my yarn cabinet. BEHIND THE TREE.
This is sacrilege! I feel stuck, both figuratively and physically. Because everything has been so hectic, I haven’t gotten too far in to my fiber Journey and I’m kicking myself. But you know what? My self is NOT HAVING IT. Because my self learned a lot about grace this last year, after the whole quitting-epidemiology-during-Covid-because-of-politics thing. Lord knows that publicity brought me to a new appreciation for how much people suck, and how much I need self -care.
So my self -let’s call her Betty the Insouciant Trash Cussing Hellion: B.I.T.C.H just doesn’t do guilt. And she does everything in annoying caps so you can hear her, because she has to drown out all the other bullshit thoughts floating around. “FUCK ALLLLL DAT, YOU TOOK CARE OF EVERYONE ELSE AND NOW YOU DON’T GET TO FEEL BAD ABOUT NOT ACCOMPLISHING YOUR SHIT, TOO. (And now that it’s quiet again)…Damnit woman, have some chutzpah!”
Betty is right, as usual. And aside from the fact that I have now named my own self and that is it’s own special something, I’d say I’m pretty healthy mentally overall these days. So I’m gonna listen to Betty, and I’m gonna extend some grace to me. And say this instead: you know what? Tomorrow is another awesome opportunity, and I’m taking it!
I’m gonna spend 15 minutes tomorrow learning to spin. And then, I’m gonna take 15 minutes tomorrow and work on learning my sewing machine. And every day, I’m gonna aim for 15 minutes of each. And I’m gonna give myself a damn break if I don’t make it.
So right now, I’m gonna sit. And maybe knit. Or maybe not.
Because Lester is here being all cuddly and I don’t want to move.
But my bag is right there. On the table. Just in case I have 15 minutes soon.
Be kind to yourselves, we all need some grace right now.